How To Avoid Becoming a Sexual Predator

How To Avoid Becoming A Sexual Predator

Historically, the way we have gone about educating society regarding sexual assault has been to police the bodies of girls and women, while excusing the impulses of boys and men. It has been the feminine presenting person who has more often been responsible for the burden of regulating the desires of the masculine. In order to create a mutually respectful, consensual society, it’s crucial to address how we educate our children about consent and boundaries. The focus has been predominantly on teaching girls how to protect themselves from potential dangers. This includes guidance on avoiding certain situations, dressing conservatively, and carrying self-defense tools. However, a significant aspect often overlooked is educating all genders on how NOT to become sexual predators. This imbalance in education needs to be reexamined to foster a more comprehensive and effective approach to preventing sexual assault.

Self-Defense or Causality?

From a young age, girls are inundated with messages about personal safety. They are taught to be vigilant, travel in groups, watch your drinks, and avoid walking alone at night. Schools and community programs often include self-defense classes aimed at equipping girls and women with techniques to fend off an attacker. While these skills are undeniably valuable, the underlying message can be problematic. It places the onus of preventing sexual assault squarely on the shoulders of potential victims. Girls learn to internalize the idea that their safety is their responsibility, leading to heightened anxiety and fear. This approach inadvertently perpetuates the notion that if a person is assaulted, they may have somehow failed to protect themselves adequately. This narrative is not only unfair, but it is gender bias. Historically ignoring the victimization of boys and transgendered people. It also detracts from addressing the root cause of the problem—CONFRONTING THE BEHAVIOR OF THE PERPETRATOR.

The Missing Piece: Education for ALL

In contrast, boys rarely receive the same level of education about respecting boundaries and understanding consent. The lack of emphasis on teaching boys about the importance of consent, respectful personal space, and recognizing the impact of their actions on others, creates a significant gap. Boys are often left to navigate these complex issues on their own, influenced by societal norms, community miseducation, and media portrayals that can sometimes glorify aggressive or nonconsensual behavior.

To create a more balanced approach, it's imperative to integrate comprehensive education about consent and respectful behavior. This includes:

1. Consent Education: Teaching all genders from a young age that consent is mandatory and must be clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing. Consent education should be a fundamental part of their upbringing, helping them understand that no one owes them physical or emotional access. THE ABSENCE OF A NO, DOES NOT EQUAL A YES.

2. Challenging Antiquated Tropes: Everyone is responsible for challenging and restructuring the messages that promote aggression and dominance when expressing attraction or arousal. All ages groups should learn to express emotions healthily, accept when interest is not reciprocated, and understand that vulnerability is not a weakness. It is important to learn that sexual assault can happen to anyone, even a boy or a man. Therefore, teaching a young boy to assert his boundaries and protect himself is equally important as teaching a young girl.

3. Healthy Modeling: Providing positive models and examples that exemplify respecting boundaries and communicating effectively. These role models can help young people understand that strength lies in respecting others and standing against sexual violence. How can you be something you don’t see?

Beginner Tips for How to Avoid Becoming a Sexual Predator

Tip #1: When there is permission, consent, or agreement for one sex act it does NOT automatically grant permission for a different sex act (e.g, oral sex vs. penetrative sex).

Tip #2: If the person is under the influence of a mood- or mind-altering substance, do NOT initiate sexual contact. You cannot give consent while under the influence.

Tip #3: ‘NO’ is a complete sentence! No one is required to explain why they are not interested in you, or not interested in what you are offering.

Tip #4: Do not record or transmit images of nudity or sexual content without consent. Teenagers in particular need to be mindful that sharing pictures of body parts or posting sexual encounters between peers would be considered distributing child pornography in some states.

Tip #5: The buttocks are considered an intimate part of the body and therefore should not be touched, caressed, or fondled without consent.

Tip #6: If the person is unconscious, DO NOT attempt to initiate an intimate act. If it’s not ok when the person is in a medical coma, then it’s not ok if they are asleep or inebriated.

Final Thoughts

The responsibility of preventing sexual assault should not rest solely on the shoulders of potential victims. While teaching girls self-defense is important, it is equally crucial to educate boys about consent and respectful behavior. By addressing both sides of the equation, we can create a safer and more equitable society. It's time to rethink our approach and ensure that our educational efforts are inclusive, comprehensive, and focused on fostering a culture of respect for all.